New Year, New Me?

Happy 2023! I know I’m behind on greetings, but today is the first day back to “reality” for my family. Youngest is back in school, husband is back at a new job, and I’m back on a regular schedule. I spent about half of the holidays sick with a chest cold that I’m still struggling to get over. Then, somehow Mother Nature decided it was time for ALL of California to build an ark! Despite dealing with quite a bit of mud and muck and a couple of leaks indoors, we’ve been fairly lucky. There is more rain on the way for us this weekend and next week, but so far, we’re surviving.

I don’t quite remember when I started this new website, but I know my intentions were for it to be different from what I’ve done before. I wanted whatever I wrote to be more representative of me, and less about Duran Duran. The fact is, I’m at a far different point in my fandom than I was at say, 35 or even 40. (or 45…) I can remember spending a good chunk of each day being able to pour over Duran Duran interviews, press, or whatever I could find online. For that matter, I can remember being interested enough to spend the time searching. It’s not that I don’t still care, but I don’t think I can honestly say I’m still that involved.

An example would be their appearance on New Years’ Rockin’ Eve. I had a party at my house that night, and while I did turn the TV on to watch and caught part of Wild Boys, our internet connection failed, and with that went the TV. I never bothered to go back and watch the rest of their performance.

It wasn’t that I didn’t care, it was that I had a house full of partygoers. Then the next day arrived in all of it’s glory, along with my chest cold. It was days later that I realized I never saw the entire thing, and to watch it afterwards just felt like I’d already missed the boat.

Maybe it’s just time to be real about this whole mess we call “fandom”. I say the words “I still love Duran Duran”, quite often. Although, those words are typically followed by the words, “but”, or “however”.

I still love Duran Duran but I am not really that excited by seeing them do a medley of hits I’ve already heard, and watched them perform, far too often.

Hmm. That almost feels cleansing.

I still love Duran Duran, but I’m not going to pay thousands of dollars to watch the same set list over and over.

I still love Duran Duran, but I don’t think I’m as interested in what they’re wearing or how they’ve done their hair as I was when I was a teenager, or even when I was thirty, for that matter!

I still love Duran Duran, but I think a lot of their most ardent fans have at least one screw loose. (I could write a book about this, although given my past “success” with book writing…I’m gonna pass on this for now.)

I still love Duran Duran, but I’m tired of only writing and/or talking about them all of the time.

I think you get the point. I’m sure many will point out that they’re much better fans than I am, because they never feel that way and have always loved everything about this band. Save it. I was already there about twenty years ago, singing Rio and blowing sunshine up the rear ends of other cynical souls around me. Things do change over time. You might just find yourself feeling more like I do at some point, and there’s no reason to judge. I too traveled all over the country, and to other parts of the world. I too, wore my heart on my sleeve and publicly proclaimed my undying love for a band member or two. Prospectives change. I know mine has.

Daily Duranie was started in 2010. I wrote 5/7 of the content for that site during the first nine years or so, and then after that, I went down to creating about half the content. Maybe a bit less than that, and I’m not trying to take anything away from my writing partner at the time – I’m making a point. Very rarely did I stray from Duran Duran as a focus. I started this blog about a year ago. I don’t dare try to write daily, and I’m lucky if I can do it weekly. For the past 13 years, almost all the writing I’ve done has been centered around one subject: Duran Duran. You’d think I’d be an expert by now. I’m definitely not, but I’ve given it my best shot, I suppose.

Strangely, I feel like I should have more to show for my effort by now. I don’t mean anything tangible, though. I’m not talking things like concert tickets, or anything that would necessarily point to me being at the top of the Duranie fan heap. I don’t mean that I should have “won” the incessant game of fandom that so many of us seem content to keep playing, at the cost of friendships and self-respect. I’m talking about something far more personal, private, and internal. Satisfaction, I suppose. I’m not satisfied with what I’ve done yet. It is the carrot I think I keep chasing.

In an effort to be less “bare my entire soul for all to abuse”, and more succinct, I’m just going to say that this year, I hope to write more often. Less of those blogs may be about Duran Duran though, and more may be about life in general.

When I came up with the name for this blog, it served two purposes: one, it’s in the lyrics included on DD’s most recent album (although I think very few recognize them); and two, the words seem to do a great job in describing where I am in life, and even in this whole fandom “thing”. Paradise some of the time, and other times, it might look like paradise, but it’s as fragile, plastic, and unreal as they come. I “make” my paradise. Sometimes, I even force my squarish sort of personality and life into whatever we’re calling perfection these days. I hope to take this blog in that direction a bit more often, and talk about reality. Life wasn’t only interesting back when we were twenty, thirty and forty, you know!

Make it a great one.

-R